Loonmagnet activated

I have long been known to have an awesome magnet for attracting loons. It has the strength of an electromagnet powered by the Hoover Dam turbines. Of course, it went into red-zone level today; I spent the morning slogging through the unemployment claim form online, only to discover I have to go in to the skeevy unemployment office in person ANYWAY. So after that little dose of crazy, I scooted off to the health club pool that doesn't have a broken heater today, since I haven't gotten my daily swim in since Friday at my regular one. Yay, an open lane, right? Right?

On my left are: a preternaturally fit and talented young lady is burning up the far lane with a splashy butterfly stroke, and a gentleman ten years my senior is freestyling a blue streak in the near lane. On my right, a smallish lady about my age and about half my height was bobbing around all smiley. I replied to her intial pleasantry about the pleasantness of the pleasant water. Pleasant, right? Magnet activated! Now, I am trying to first march up and down the pool, then swim up and down it, five minutes apiece. I zone out and really enjoy not focusing on anything, it really helps with the pain....usually. Up the pool? Lady speaks to me. The pool is great.Down the pool? Speaks to me again. If she had a pool at home, she'd never get out.  Up? Yup. Down? Dammit, I'm exercising here! So I give up walking and start to swim. Nobody talks to a stranger while she is swimming, right? Wrong. Finally I am reduced to avoiding her eyes, smiling and nodding, and keeping on, as if I don't have breath to talk. She gets bored about ten minutes in and announces her next destination: the hot tub. Blessed be Poseidon. I finally get a few minutes to swim and walk in peace, dreading having to walk past the hot tub on the way back into the dressing room. What a relief, she's not in it anymore, so I shower off, go spin my suit dry, and grab my clothes for the changing cubicle. I barely have my underpants on when I hear Water Loon state with satisfaction, "THAT feels better." Followed by a loud flush. I tuck my toes back in horror, and listen as she bangs the toilet door open, passes the sinks without handwashing, and blessedly goes to dress on the other side of the lockers. I got out of there like my hair was on fire. Upon getting on the highway to go home, I found that not only was only one lane open for miles but this was the car I was stuck behind the whole way:

You have to admire six years worth of that type lunacy.