I finally have a job offer. It's six hours away. In New Orleans, home of hurricanes and rampant crime, and where neither my cats nor my ancient dog would be anything but continually restless. It has a good salary and benefits, a possibility of a sign-on bonus I could use for relocation, did I mention an actual salary instead of hourly work for the first time in twelve years, and it's in my new field that I trained for while I was sick. My boyfriend, who has Asperger's and hates to travel, is not going to be buying it. So there goes that if I pass the pre-employment physical. Yep. Pre-employment physical. For someone who's been on disability for, oh, um, hey...nine or ten months. Fuck.
Not worrying so much about the whole relocation thing, really; not a good liar. No need to relocate if they withdraw their offer because, fuck this, you are a CRIP!!!! How close can you trim the truth on a pre-employment physical form? Damn, I can't remember what-all they asked before but I can't imagine how I can pass one. I can put my daily meds only, the pain stuff is not daily, mostly. Leave out the TENS unit if they don't ask directly, and I don't remember a form asking about one directly. Crap, I don't know how I will finesse this one but the local job that was going to call me today, sure thing, aces....crickets. Nothing.
I am definitely blackballed here in town. And since MegaFormerEmployer cut me off from getting unemployment by LYING about firing me for being unable to work 12 hour shifts, I've got to get a job before I run through the pittance that is long-term disability. So when they call me to go take that pre-employment physical, I'm going to take a deep breath, hold it, and answer each question as narrowly as possible without actually telling a story. Because employed and crazy is better than homeless and crazy.
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Whohee! Must be good for the morale, even with the succeeding challenges. It's really 5 hours away from you (if you go through BR in non-rush hour).
ReplyDeleteI guess they want to make sure you're not a drug addict or have been in a mental hospital. How's your blood pressure?
Doesn't ADA keep them from withdrawing the offer for health issues? Plus, if you can do a 1500 mile move, you should be able to do an 8-5 job.
Doesn't that place have a fitness center on site? That's a big plus.
What accomodations you looking for? Half a duplex? Townhouse? Apartment? What part of town? My friend Donna & her family rented a pretty nice townhouse in Metairie while their Lakeview house was getting rebuilt. There may be some duplexes (with yards) for rent in Lakeview. Ruth knows people from Desk & Derrick who live on the west bank - I don't know anything about the west bank anymore. I had met some of those west bank D&D people - need to find their names again. The lady I talked to gave me good west bank info for the Louisiana travel blog I was writing at the time.
Fingers crossed!!!! Good luck with the dreaded physical screening and creative answers.
ReplyDeleteI actually like the Algiers point shotguns the best; right by the ferry that takes cars twice an hour if I felt like going to town but on the West Bank. Street parking, though. I don't want to drive from Metairie every day with everybody else, what a nightmare, trapped on 90 like a hamster with a death wish. Gretna proper is pretty run-down from what I can see. But it will all be academic if I can't finesse the physical.
ReplyDeleteAlgiers Point! That's the high ground. Donna's husband stayed with friends there till he got a FEMA trailer & started gutting his house. There's also the Bywater and the Marigny, just downriver from the French Quarter. Gretna, Marrero, Westwego have seen better days.
ReplyDeleteYou've never had a stroke, heart attack, epileptic seizure, blood clot, or psychotic episode so you should be OK on the physical.