The guys in New Orleans are being weaselly about coughing up relocation money upfront. Ninety days after I got there isn't much help; as I told the bossman, I have one set of money, and it's enough to get me there or fix up this house so renting it would pay the mortgage, but not enough to do both. I can't carry two places to live for three months on what they are willing to pay, I'd go through all my renovation money. He was going to look into getting the payment upfront and call me back. He hasn't. But, honestly, that is good.
I was going to take the job out of panic. Violating my own Rule #1, Don't Panic.
Yeah, it's in my new field and was a good salary offer. But I won't run out of money here for several months and I think on further reflection that hauling an old sick anxious dog and two half-wild cats to a strange place, starting a new job, and studying for boards that I have to pass to keep that new job is no way to stay healthy. I ate some fried food this weekend and incapacitated myself for a day and a half. Plain stupid but it did remind me how hard life would be with absolutely no one to help when I can't just wish away the symptoms of the chronic illness that's had me by the tail for more than a year now. I yowled at my sister and spoiled her lunch hour with my angst over this; I honestly have been unable to get a job interview here in town and it's scary to let a sure thing go, even a sure thing that would pile some killer stress on. Then I yowled at one of my friends on the phone, and was finally calm enough to discuss it with my fella. He doesn't want me to go, and thinks it will be too hard altogether, but wasn't going to say so because he was being supportive of having a job, any job. I'm still determined to clean the house like I'm leaving it, but I really think if that guy calls me back I am going to have to take a deep breath and tell him the month it's taken them to get back to me has let something else come up. I'm not going to let on that the something is studying for boards and praying, praying, for a job here in town.
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Reminds me of my situation in 1986 - oil $9 a barrel, Lafayette shutting down, my office closing, Ray had a temp job with National Parks. I was offered a transfer to Atlanta. I didn't see how we were going to make it without that job, so I went as far as going there, finding an apartment. However, every time I'd try to pick up the phone and call the (company-paid) movers, I'd get nauseous and dizzy, have to lie down on the floor. Took me about a week to figure out that my stomach was telling me not to go to Atlanta. I juggled the money with part-time temp work and unemployment till some windfall state contracts fell in my lap due to being married to Ray. It worked out for the next two years till Ray got the job in Missouri.
ReplyDeleteTry to have faith that it will work out.
You didn't spoil my lunch hour either - call anytime. I furthered my counseling skills yesterday, when anxiety-laden friend was freaking out because of a call from her ex at work. He had quit paying child support early, and because of her arrangement with the state collecting it, they figured it out and went after him for it without any action from her. He threatened to sue her for half her retirement fund, which issue was judged on 10 years ago. But it sent her anxiety disorder into overdrive. She has $20,000 of credit card debt through not getting child support and keeping those kids in Catholic school, and any financial threat from him makes her lose it. She kinda thinks he could be the Jennings serial killer when she's feeling paranoid but I think he's too white-collar for it.
ReplyDeleteGot refused, again, today, for another job I'm overqualified for. Fuckers. And weaselly guy called; I let it go to voicemail, he was supposed to get back to me yesterday. I can't shake the feeling it's crazy to turn it down, that it's the last job I'll ever get offered; and I can't shake the conviction that I can't start a new job in a hostile environment where two folks just got canned for me to get the job and still pass my boards. So, yeah, dammed if I do and damned if I don't.
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