What I did and didn't say

So here is this client. She wants me to write, let's call it a work excuse. For her relative in the hospital this week, and she wants me to state he can't make it next week, the week after that, and into March. I told her, politely, ten times, I could write and fax the excuse from the time to admission until the day she wants it written but no one gives excuses out for the future. Hoo boy. She bitched and wailed and waved what was left of the tips on her nails and yelled about me getting him in trouble until the nurses at the station almost lost their heads from craning their necks while rolling their eyes at her stupidity.
What I was dying to say but waited until I got back to my office and verbalized it to my cubicle co-slave: "Bitch, if I could predict the future your sorry ass wouldn't know what I looked like, because I'd have my lottery winnings and be locked behind a big gate with a mean, bald Israeli security force."