Thursday, November 4, 2010

Today's Win and Fail

Today's Win:
Unlike Friday, my office mate/fellow prisoner in tiny, three-person 7x9 cinderblock windowless room refrained from spraying her foul, nasty, disgusting fake aldehyde chemical "air freshener" which made my sinuses bleed all fucking weekend and caused all sorts of anerobic bacteria to grow in their swollen depths. Oh, and gave me the fun of Neti Pot Surprise all weekend. Yeah, that thing where you clean out the green snot from your head with your Himalayan ceramic neti pot and dab your nostrils nice and dry, then, hours and hours later, you casually bend over and, ta da!!!! Showers! Salty ones! Out of the nose! Onto the cat, or your foot, or anything else below you!!!
How the fuck do Indian people get anything done. Supposedly they do their Neti pot ritual daily. Do they just NEVER BEND OVER?? Shit, no, they are steadily yoga-ing away. Why doesn't the saline shower make them all bust their ass all over their yoga mat?
Oh, so anyway, the win was, no choking cloud of mace-like Dollar Store funk to send me reeling for my inhaler.
She contented herself dousing her rotund person with some horrendous flavor of "body spray". Which I feel sure she "refreshed" about three times. I considered dumping out her tote bag to see if it was "Bhopal" by Dow or "Antikurd" by Chemical Ali. Fail for my conjunctive membranes. Work-acquired pinkeye. I haz it.
Amazon is selling a desktop HEPA unit for $42 bucks with free shipping on my Amazon Prime. I get paid tomorrow. Ka-ching to Amazon.

1 comment:

  1. After my sinus treatments, I bend as far over as I can, let the head drain. I get a few surprises but the rotor-rooter job I had done on the sinuses in 1999 makes them fewer.

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