Fail

So I snore horribly. Undisputed; the noise will peel paint. Never had a guy enjoy sleeping with me who wasn't a liar or hearing impaired. I wake myself choking. Every morning, I'm bleary-eyed, exhausted, feel more like I fought a bear all night than slept.  So I probably need a CPAP mask which you need a sleep study to get from the insurance. Off to the sleep lab I go; fitted out with all kinds of wires and straps and a SNORE MIC. Which they are going to need to turn the sound down on. Then the news starts up with the tech: she doesn't want my room very warm because my leads will melt off (they are taped on). She wants me to go to sleep on my back. Sigh. Confirmed warm bed, side sleeper. I gave it a try but felt like I was hovering like a frozen fish fillet above the surface of the bed most of the night. I actually woke myself choking a couple of times but: not enough to get a mask test. Because you have to choke yourself a bunch BEFORE 2am to get a mask test. And I did not get all my choking in on time. I woke at about 4 am with an awful bellyache from the tight strap around my middle, was allowed a bathroom break, and couldn't go back to sleep until my release, shivering and CPAP-less, at 5:30. All that for nothing.  I did stop at the fitness center instead of going home straightaway; I washed my hair to try to get the EEG paste out, walked and swam, chatted while doing that, and washed my hair again...twice.  After feeding old lady dog when I got home I passed out and woke up, drooling, on my side, four hours later. Stunned.