WTF

Trying to get the dog a bath today; I am too stove up to crouch over the tub and wash her. It will make me faint.
I already feel horrible from the cold dry weather.  So we loaded her into the car and she began to shake uncontrollably. We drove to three locations. The first had posted a misleading sign about self-serve dog wash, and was short a groomer, so no go. The second had stopped offering self-serve dogwash. The third was nearest the house and recommended by the second. It was open. The proprietor was charming. The plumbing was frozen and in the process of being thawed. The owner was so sweet and apologetic, and ancient smelly dog had relaxed and stopped shaking by the second stop. She came in to see what was up and sniffed all around, and saw that no vet treatments were forthcoming. Triumphant urination was micturated into the front yard of the establishment, and once milady was replaced in the back seat, she actually harrumphed at us. "Harrrf," As if.
So today's WTF is: dry scratchy eyes, tight achy chest, killer pelvic and hip bone ache, and smartass smelly dog, all from cold dry weather. NEED HOUSE IN HAWAII.